I was walking out of our dining hall the other day and came across a mother and her little boy sitting in the chairs outside. A girl beside me went up to the little boy, kneeled and asked his name but he pushed himself back into the chair and wouldn't respond. The mother laughed and told the girl that he was just shy. "tell her your name," she said.

I didn't even stop to hear out if the boy had anything to say or even if he had a name, but I spent the next several minutes wondering what effect the mother's words had on him. She must have repeated that phrase a hundred times before, 'he is just shy.' I don't dispute that the little boy was afraid to talk in public but his bashfulness in not my concern. If said enough times, surely the boy will be shy because that is what his mother tells him he is. I wonder, is it possible to change his public communication by telling him that he is bold? Would that eventually make it so? What should I tell my children if they are shy or even if they are bold? Do parents constantly worry that simply by their words they can be drastically changing their children's lives?

Posted in: on Sunday, February 24, 2008 at at 9:07 PM